Living Authentically - What Does That Mean?
Living Authentically - What Does That Actually Mean?
Living authentically means acting from a place of intuition to live in a way that feels balanced, not defective. The development of self-knowledge and self-awareness is essential to living authentically, which you can begin to develop through from simple changes. Begin to feel free and unburdened by taking the first steps towards living authentically.
Before I start diving into what this blog is all about, I feel like I should introduce myself. My name is Stephanie. I have a wonderfully supporting family who consists of my husband, Todd, two little boys, Theo and Toby, and our endearing german shepherd Otto.
This blog is a consolidation of all the things that I am passionate about: helping others find how to live true to themselves, essential oils, and yoga/meditation. When my youngest was born, partially by choice and partially by necessity due to his MSPI/reflux, I became a full-time mom. I have both loved and have been utterly exhausted by the time I have spent at home with my boys, but it has allowed me the perspective to realize...I want to be home...just not full time. I enjoy helping others. I enjoy being productive and creating something. I enjoy contributing financially to my household, in whatever limited capacity that may be. For my own wellness, I need to work. So over the last few months I have been working towards that goal, and the creation of this blog is part of that intention. Now I do hope this blog goes gangbusters and creates the six figure income that all those fabulously rich and famous bloggers blog about; but in reality, I hope this blog attracts a like-minded community that finds what I have to say valuable.
For myself, the choice to live authentically began when I started my career after graduate school as an audiologist. I loved what I did as an audiologist, but quickly learned I did not like the business aspect of healthcare; I felt like I had to fight too many individuals, and myself at times, to ensure what I was recommending was not based on profit margins but on patients' needs. My journey to live authentically was solidified when my first was born and my husband and I no longer had the energy or time to be evasive, sarcastic, or hypocritical towards each other. For our household to function, we realized we had to respect and be honest to not only each other, but to ourselves as well. I felt better living in a world where I had the self-confidence to allow myself to be me, despite how difficult or vulnerable it may make me feel. However scary living authentically is, and trust me it can be frightening and impossible at times, it is also freeing and uplifting. In addition, I feel so grateful that my husband has partaken on this journey with me and respects and loves the authentic me more so than the "presentation" of me. Because we are both living true to ourselves and true to each other, we have a deeper connection and stronger relationship than ever.
What is Authentically Living?
Early in my audiological career, a sign that I was not being authentic was that I always felt like I was fighting something; doing and saying what felt true to the core of me seemed unacceptable. And in so, I was miserable. This was a sign. I was not happy inside and unfortunately, my husband bore the brunt of that discomfort.
Authenticity is living from within, listening to that soft voice inside, truer to our essence and that all telling feeling deep in our gut. It is when our actions and words are in line with our beliefs, values, and abilities not what or who we think we should be. It's living in a way that feels balanced, not defective.
To do so requires self-knowledge and-self awareness. Taking the time to look deep within and understanding your strengths and honoring your weaknesses. Acting with the goal of being genuine, no matter how vulnerable or unfavorable. Living in such a way is absolutely freeing and empowering because you can choose to live in alignment with the real you. But it also requires compassion towards yourself, recognizing it is a journey that does not happen overnight, being one that requires continuos contemplation and re-evaluation.
Living authentically is liberating, but it does not happen in isolation, only through engagement. It requires exposure to new ideas and experiences, so that you may discover what resonates. Not relying on our past experiences to write the narrative of what we expect will happen, but staying grounded in the present, open to ourselves and others, accepting what fits, and respecting what doesn't. Because what is authentic and real for you, may not be for others, and that's ok. Part of living authentically is recognizing we all have the freedom to live this way, and if others' lifestyles, beliefs, or actions do not align with your own, it must be respected; not the basis of fear or confrontation. Diversity in nature is what makes it beautiful, and so it should be with people as well.
How To Begin Living Authentically
- Stop playing roles
Don't categorizing your life by what you do but by who you are. We have so many labels for what we do. Just in my life alone I can be categorized by: mother, daughter, sister, wife, audiologist, writer, yogi, meditator, entrepreneur, DIY-er, wine enthusiast, etc. None of these labels are who I am, and anytime I assume a particular label, I assume a role and begin to act according to the confines and expectations of such a role. Living authentically means beginning to live from the intricacies that make you "you", not the labels that apply.
- Live simpler
The world we live in encourages consumerism, so often times we have more possessions than we need. Living in a world physically cluttered, bursting at the seams with things, can negatively affect our lives. It can be frustrating, making it more difficult to complete what needs to be done. It can be draining to navigate around so much stuff. It can waste time because you can't find what you need. It can be distracting or overwhelming because it only adds to the list of tasks to complete. Living cleaner and simpler can help you stay more focused and allows you to prioritize what is important and what you want to be defined by. A goal I try to stand by is every month I go through something, be it as monumental as a room or as simple as a drawer, organize it and donate what is no longer necessary.
- Move more
Our minds and bodies are connected and can influence each other. The more sedentary we are, the more sedentary are our brains and our energy. Increasing the amount you move in a day can reduce stress and anxiety, increase focus and memory, and release endorphins (happy chemicals). Also, moving more allows you to get in tune with your body, providing valuable information. For example, during times of stress, our bodies will tense and our breath will increase and become more shallow. These are signals that you need to pause and possibly re-evaluate the situation. Learning how to listen to you body also allows you to live more authentically, because you can tap into your intuition. When you listen to your intuition, you may feel expansive, feel butterflies in your stomach, or a warmth around your heart. Alternatively, you feel contracted, tense, and a heaviness in your chest.
- Meditate
A regular meditative practice allows you to learn to be present, not stuck in the past or future, and to tune into your body, creating mental clarity. I often hear from others how meditation is impossible because they don't have the time and can't shut their brain off. The purpose of meditation is not to to have a completely quiet mind...that's impossible! And it can be done for as little time as one breath, as long as you are present, mentally and physically, for the entire breath. The goal of meditation is to be present, rooted in what is going on in the that very moment, which is really just sitting and breathing. And if you fall out of meditation by becoming caught up in a thought, recognize that's just life, and come back to your breath.
- Do self-checks throughout the day
Randomly check in with your body and mind, taking note of what your feeling or thinking. Armed with that information, assess the situation. While respecting others involved, what do you need to feel aligned? Note that I didn't say better, because for me avoiding conflict and bottling my emotions feels better in the moment, but does not allow me to live authentically. So, I have to resist that urge and choose an alternative that is more aligned with my authentic self. After you have checked in and corrected the situation, check back in again. How do you feel now? Did you allow yourself to live more authentically or did you learn something new to apply next time?
Take the first step and choose to begin living authentically. Face your fears and concerns to discover what makes you "you", so that you may live from a place that is free and unburdened. We only have now, and now is better than never.
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